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It makes me want to gouge my eyes out with a cheese grater!

Read how Redd is Seeing Red Over Red Flag Bullshit!

Stephen M. Redd
Wednesday, May 06 2009

So... I've moving to a new place, but I need to keep electricity turned on at the old place for a while. 

Not an unusual case for a lot of people.
 
If you are selling a house for example, you might move before the house is sold off. You don't want to cut the power though. Or maybe you are moving and just want to take your time and keep both places for a while. Or maybe you just bought a vacation home and want to keep power at both locations permanantly... whatever... 
 
So I was suprised when I called Duke Energy today and they refused to turn on power at my new place unless I also put in a disconnect order for the old place.
 
WTF?!?!

In my particular case, I am just getting my house repossessed, but I don't quite know when exactly yet. I didn't want to get caught flat-footed when the foreclosure went to the next step -- the "get the fuck out" step. So I've already moved to an apartment and need power turned on there.

But I don't want the old house to get damaged by the extreme south carolina summer before it is sold... afterall, the better it sells on the auction block the less I'm likely to get nailed for in the end. Plus it is kinda rude to let a perfectly fine house go to shit. 

 So I was calling Duke Energy to get new power service at my apartment, and was suprised that they were completely unwilling to connect power at both places. The rep said it had something to do with the "red flag laws that were passed in November".
 
And I'm like... the fucking what laws?
 
She gives me some poorly informed speach about a law that was supposed to prevent identity theft being passed and that to protect its customers from identity theft they no longer allowed concurrent service unless the second property was a rental property. 
 
I asked exactly which law this was and if it was a state or federal law, but she apparently didn't know anything more about it. 
 
I could have taken that as an answer, but at this point I'm horridly curious. There have to be a LOT of people that pay for power in more than one residence at the same time.
 
So I'm asking... so what do I do if I own two houses?
 
And she says, well you'll have to disconnect power from one of them unless one of them is rental property.
 
I asked about how exactly this was supposed to help protect my identity, but the answer was incoherent (clearly the rep had no idea). 
 
er....
 
er....
 
I got cut-off from this customer service rep (cell phones rock that way!).
 
So I called back and got a different rep... and I went though it again.... and got the same answers again. And this rep was also unable to cite me the exact law or even tell me if it was federal or state law.
 
The only thing new I learned was that they could turn on power as long as they had a disconnect order for the other place, but I didn't have to disconnect right away. I could set the disconnect date in the future and run both concurrently for a while. And if I needed to change the disconnect date later, I could just call back and let them know.
 
So I just set a disconnect date for 6 weeks from now at the old place and she was more than happy to turn on service at the new place. 
 
Before she finished up with me though, I followed up with a final question. I told her that I was thinking of buying a condo that was for sale and renting it out, but I'd want keep the power in my name. Since she'd mentioned rental propertiy I asked if there was anything special I needed to do when I needed to turn on service at that property.
 
She said, no... just call us and let us know it is a rental property and we can turn on your service within 72 hours. 
 
WTF?!
 
ARRRRRGGGGggggg!
 
 
After I got off the phone, I went digginng to find out what fucked up law is responsible for this completely idiotic polilcy.
 
 
It is a set of FTC "rules" (not exactly a law, but may as well be) passed back in 2003 that took effect in November 2008.
 
The intent of the rules are to get certain institutions to do stuff to keep people from using someone else's identity. Mostly it was aimed at financial institutions, but covers some other industries... like my power company apparently. The idea is that the instituations have to have mechanisms (which are poorly defined) in place to detect and prevent people from signing up for accounts using someone else's identity.
 
Seems harmless... and in 2003 it was pretty far-thinking regulation actually.
 
From what I can gather, the intention was for the institutions to actually check your ID out more thouroughly if a "red flag" situation is encountered (thus the street name of the rule).  Red flags are situations that are suspisious and could be the result of an attempted identity theft. 
 
OK!
 
As well intentioned as the FTC's idea is though, it has failed. 
 
Duke Energy is either too incompetent to actually check your ID, or the FTC rules are simply too difficult to adhere to without risking penalties from the FTC... so Duke simply decided that the best way to deal with it was to unilaterally deny any request that would result in one of those red flag situations in the first place.
 
I can see that a red flag would get raised when the power company gets a request for new power service from a residential customer who already has an account for another location. I've seen it happen more than a few times. Someone kicks out a roomate or gets a divorce and the other party turns on power at the new place using their former co-resident's identity.   
 
Sure... fine... nice of the FTC to want to discourage that crap.
 
But instead of just checking my ID like the FTC rules intended, the power company just feels safer not letting me have power at two locations. I guess that's cheaper than having to pay the FTC crap-loads of  fines if they accidentally failed to protect an ID somewhere.
 
And even better, the FTC's new rules do absolutly nothing to stop that same aggreved roomate from going to another city with a diffrent power company and still using someone else's identity to hook up their power anyway.
 
And even more ironic... you can setup power using a stolen identity just by telling the rep on the phone that your new location is rental property. Apparently there are no requirments to prove that you are renting it out or anything... you just have to tell them you are and you can setup as many accounts as you want. 
 
Good job guys! Thanks for looking out for us there!
 

 

Stephen M. Redd
Wednesday, May 06 2009
Filed under: Rants & Stupidity
2 Comments

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  1. safe   avatar

    Good article, I had a pleasure reading it and learned a lot of new things about you.

    safe — June 1, 2009 3:03 PM
  2. Rev. Woody Electron avatar

    Gentlemens,

    I just read your secret message in the numbers of my power bill like I always do.

    I'll be late again too like always. Of course, you trust me ,I am a great believer

    and loyal servant of the Great Magnet as well. We protect our own and we stick together.

    All energy flows according to the whims of the Great Magnet. What fools they are to defy him.

    I am glad you told me that there's a big machine in the sky too, some kind of, I dunno, electric snake,

    coming straight at us. I'm making my big ass foil teepee but ya'll need to be sure to send me that

    electric snake machine handling book first, ok? I have some experience but that thing there sounds big

    as hell and I'll be damned if I want to get all eat up with the rest of them.

    Also my honky brothers - You folks wanna buy some electricity? Goddamnit, I'm serious.

    All I'm trying to sell you here is some pure Grade A energy distilled from my bodily essence.

    OH YEAH - This is the real stuff! You won't be sorry cos mine is the best. Yep, I checked it.

    I just got back from Iraq too. Ahahaha... ! I have a bunch saved up and your last number message said

    to me that you'd be interested. I think it's cool how ya'll put them messages to people

    like me who you trust and know. That sumbitch sergeant Nolan didn't believe me but we know.

    Anyways I wanna -sell- you some pure fucking power man... pure... fuck...OH YEAH its so pure!

    You can use it to run your moon-base what is ON THE MOON that you have with the AT&T people!

    Or aww hell you can make custards with it too, it's up to you. Depends I guess.

    "Queer theory and the death of it - drive to Samoa and eat a pineapple.

    Praise be to the Great Magnet! Punkin on my leg in the shade of the willow trees!

    And the cold wind blows...Yee ha!

    Damn Talibans eat their yungins

    But we shall overcome..."

    I just made up that hymn just now about the Magnet power I have hope ya'll like it.

    Yeah. Praise the keepers of the Great Magnet and forever may it pull, or suck.

    May his wooly-pully power always tug on the private places where the holy electric

    essence lingers.

    Yeah by god! Goddamnit , I'm serious. I am so excited.

    And please don't ya'll hide them hoes like that sexy bitch collection lady from me anymore.

    I know you'd share cos I know it from your bill number messages and I have alot of love and essences to give.

    I don't just make it for electricity to sell to ya'll.

    Let me know in the next bills numbers though if you all want my saved up power energy and

    I'll send it in this years mason jar. I'll put wire on it for you all to

    make it easier to get the electrical out too, ok?

    And just Wait till you see all those goddamn bats flying in!

    I prayed to the Magnet like you said

    and I'm pretty sure they'll be here flopping at the unbelievers by christmas! Listen - these sumbitches

    are special trained to eat turkey and ham on sight too by-god and are also trained to chew

    through gas lines, the bastards.

    That whole gas thing is like Judas, the sumbitches. Ain't it?

    By the way I didn't have them crazy ass bats trained to eat punkin at all tho cos I like that part. Hope

    thats ok. Let me know if it needs to be fixed so they eat it too. Don't want to piss ya'll off. My

    neighbor must have cos him and his 3 yungins are over there in the dark. Fuck em I don't have to

    be in their house. My credits wasn't ruined like his , the dumb sumbitch shouldn't have bought

    that house , he ought to have stayed at his grannys like me.

    Can't wait til my next bill - send it 3 weeks early like usual and make sure it's got the 250% Great Magnet

    tithing tacked on like always. I can't wait to show you my mason jar with the electric

    Rev. Woody Electron — December 1, 2009 2:09 AM

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