Reddnet Scribbles

Hey, Orange Juice vendors! Listen up!

Please stop putting shit that isn't made from oranges in my fucking juice already!

See these two cartons?

One of these contains a beverage that tastes yummy.

The other contains a beverage that tastes like someone took a shit in it.

Can you tell the difference? 

And why the fuck do you insist on putting this crap in OJ anyway?

If you are going to put crap that isn't orange in your orange juice, then at least have the decency to make sure the package is CLEARLY marked!

It doesn't matter what you put in there. Calcium, Vitamins, Omega-3, whatever.... if you put something in there that isn't made from a god-damned orange then... well....  it fucking is NOT "100% Orange pure & natural not from concentrate" then is it?

But if you are going to put crap in some of your OJ lines, then please at least have the decency to make it VERY obvious what is in the carton. A tiny little sub-text is NOT clearly marked. So what will happen is that I'm going to accidentally pick up the wrong one, shell out $4 for it, get it home, then puke OJ all over the counter.

That does the fuck NOT build brand loyalty there guys!

And what the fuck is an Omega-3 exactly? Nevermind, I don't give a damn what it is, it will still taste like shit.

Really, it doesn't matter what you put in OJ...it WILL not taste anything like OJ anymore. I know, in the pasts I've accidentally been dupped into buying several of your fucked up franken-juice concoctions. It probably doesn't help that you change your packaing more often than I change my underwear.

The worst imposter drink I ended up with was that Calcium one! 

WTF?!?!?!? 

Seriously... when I think "I'd like to drink something to make my bones better" OJ is not exactly the first thing to come to mind. No offense, but chalk and metal is not complimentary to OJ. Not to mention what it does to the texture.

I believe that alka-seltzer would probably mix better with OJ than Calcium or Omega-3 (whatever the fuck that is).  

So cut this shit out already and just stick to making juice! If I want a fucking multi-vitamin I'll buy Centrium or something thank-you-very-much!